So…I’ve been a bit-weepy the last day or so.
It started last night when Mike and I were ready to put Adam to bed. Our lovely baby has been one big angry ball of tantrum the last couple of days. The tiniest things set him off and when he’s cranky the last thing he wants to see is my boring face trying to calm him down. So he runs to Mike.
I’m totally cool with that too, despite what I’m about to write!
Mike was taking him upstairs because he had flat out run to him and wouldn’t let go. I always try to act normally during tantrums, so I did what I normally do and asked for a goodnight kiss and a bye-bye. It only set him off more so the last thing I saw as Mike whisked him upstairs was a scrunched up screeching face. I retreated to the bathroom for a quick sob before I started my evening chores of dishes and cleaning the living room. Then sat feeling sorry for myself and choking back more outbursts when Mike came down having successfully calmed the baby to bed.
It’s not hard to notice my puffy crying face, so Mike asked me what was wrong and let me weep all over his chest. He gently reminded me that Adam had been bringing me books to read all night and climbing into my lap, and that he was most certainly not rejecting his mother (crazy pregnant lady).
An early bedtime was in order after that, and I ended up getting out of bed before sunrise. I sat in the quiet house, reading the news while I drank some tea. Two successive articles made me cry, so I knew that whatever was making me a mess was not out of my system. This probably should have been a clue for me not to leave the house and go into public, but I sure did.
And not only was it in public, it was to visit my favorite cloth diaper store on it’s last day of business! What was I thinking?!?!
This is not some ordinary cloth diaper store. This is like, the go-to place for all natural-minded women in Greensboro. Anything you need can be found there. A baby wearing club that I belong to meets there once a month, I took my natural birthing class in the classrooms upstairs. It’s a special place.
When I walked in the owner was literally selling the empty shelves to a customer. That made it all the more real to me. I found some awesome newborn diapers that snap down to let the umbilical cord heal and debated over a cute elephant canvas that was also being sold. I ended up with diapers and prenatal vitamins and headed to the front of the store to pay.
The way it happened was crazy! I was totally normal and chatting and smiling. Then it came time to take my bag and say goodbye, when my eye caught a sign in the hallway for Peaceful Beginnings (the natural birthing class company). I tried to tell the owner good luck and thanks for being here when I dissolved into heaving tears, trying to explain my hormonal state and apologizing for the crying while simultaneously trying to wish her well and backing out of the store before I further embarrassed myself. I think I ended with “Goo lug to you buh-bye.” (sniff! sniff! sniff!) I didn’t really see much of her face, but the glimpse that I did see had a mix of pity? Surprise? Horror? I don’t know. Maybe all three. Because a prego lady with a baby strapped to her back had cried over the going out of business of her favorite cloth diaper store!
Gah! Why did I leave the house in my weepy state!! *slams head on desk with great drama*
I guess if I want to not cry in public anymore I’ll have to stay at home until baby comes. Then I’ll have to stay at home until I’m over the birthing weepies. Then I’ll have to stay at home until I’m done with breastfeeding hormones.
Well forget that. Just don’t mind the lady walking down the street with all of the tears and the blubbering. It’s just some hormones.